Bill the Bad

I am a pirate's parrot,
with an owner fierce and bold.
We’ve sailed across the seven seas
in search of jewels and gold.

My pirate’s known as Bill the Bad
who has a bushy beard.
Bill scares all other pirates and
around the world he's feared.

He wears a leather eye patch
and is covered in tattoos,
with tales of his adventures
featured in the ‘Pirate News’.

The crew all quake when Bill’s about,
because he looks so grim;
but sometimes reputations hide
the truth that lies within …

Beneath the scowl upon his face,
Bad Bill’s a different fellow.
I’ve seen that when he is alone,
he can be chilled and mellow.

I know that he takes flowers
to his mum when on a visit.
With recipes, Bill’s quite a cook;
his soufflés are exquisite!

He sings just like an angel
and he writes just like a poet.
The poor get all Bill’s stolen gold
and yet they do not know it.

Just scratch beneath the surface
of this naughty reprobate,
you’ll find a splendid chap that you’d
be proud to call shipmate.

So if you hear odd rumours that
my Bill’s not nice with folk,
remember what his parrot said:
Bad Bill’s a lovely bloke!