How to Select the Perfect Rock in Ten Easy Steps

1. Walk slowly and look around. If a grown-up tells you to hurry up, tell them you’re following instructions.
2. Pick up whichever rock catches your eye.
3. Turn it over and over in your hand.
4. If it’s dirty, brush it off. If you’re near water, wet it.
5. If it looks like it came from a dragon’s cave or a dinosaur’s skull or a castle or a diamond mine, put it in your pocket.
6. If it’s as smooth as a mermaid’s face or as rough as a pirate’s stubble, put it in your pocket.
7. If it’s shiny or sparkly or speckled or stripey or multi-coloured, put it in your pocket.
8. If it’s dull grey or black and a grown-up says it’s only a broken bit of pavement, put it in your pocket. A rock can be perfect even if it’s a broken bit of pavement.
9. Repeat steps 1 to 8 until your pockets are so heavy you can hardly walk.
10. Convince a grown-up to carry some of your rocks, then look for the next perfect one.