Malaprops
Listen to Lisa's poem ...
You claim that I use malaprops.
Could you be more pacific?
I’m simply a linguinephile.
My vocab’s protolithic!
Perhaps it’s all a pigment of
your lured imagination?
I’m furloughing my brow because
I’m filled with consummation.
Your long and windy antidotes
don’t help me reprehend.
It’s ghostly, how you criticize.
Too spinless to defend.
It’s hurtful and it’s tackless
—an abdominal disgrace.
I feel so irrespective,
patriated to my face.
I consecrate on what I say,
denunciate with care.
You claim that I use malapropos?
How udderly unfair!
Could you be more pacific?
I’m simply a linguinephile.
My vocab’s protolithic!
Perhaps it’s all a pigment of
your lured imagination?
I’m furloughing my brow because
I’m filled with consummation.
Your long and windy antidotes
don’t help me reprehend.
It’s ghostly, how you criticize.
Too spinless to defend.
It’s hurtful and it’s tackless
—an abdominal disgrace.
I feel so irrespective,
patriated to my face.
I consecrate on what I say,
denunciate with care.
You claim that I use malapropos?
How udderly unfair!
This poem is copyright (©) Lisa Varchol Perron 2024
About the Writer
Lisa Varchol Perron
Lisa Varchol Perron writes children's poetry, picture books, and middle-grade novels. Past and forthcoming publications include The Caterpillar, Highlights Hello, High Five, The School Magazine and children's poetry anthologies. She was a finalist in the 2021 Madness! Poetry tournament for children's poets, and her debut picture book is scheduled for spring of 2023. Lisa lives with her family just outside of Boston, Massachusetts.
