Non-Athletic
Listen to Colin read his poem ...
Never knew the rules of cricket,
Put my leg before the wicket,
In the relay, dropped the baton,
Later by my team got sat on.![]()
Never got the knack of soccer,
My kit best left in the locker.
At the table tennis table,
Found that I was most unable.![]()
Never could I hop a hurdle,
Just the thought made my blood curdle.
When I tried to do the long jump,
Jumped up HIGH which is the wrong jump.![]()
Never got the hang of hockey,
Darts? I couldn’t find the oche.
As for practising jiu-jitsu,
I’d much sooner walk my shih-tzu.
Never could I be a vaulter,
With my pole I’d only falter.
And of hope there’s not a glimmer
I could make an expert swimmer.
Never when I threw a javelin,
Did it ever far go travellin’,
Neither was I great at running,
But my standing still was stunning!
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Put my leg before the wicket,
In the relay, dropped the baton,
Later by my team got sat on.
Never got the knack of soccer,
My kit best left in the locker.
At the table tennis table,
Found that I was most unable.
Never could I hop a hurdle,
Just the thought made my blood curdle.
When I tried to do the long jump,
Jumped up HIGH which is the wrong jump.
Never got the hang of hockey,
Darts? I couldn’t find the oche.
As for practising jiu-jitsu,
I’d much sooner walk my shih-tzu.
Never could I be a vaulter,
With my pole I’d only falter.
And of hope there’s not a glimmer
I could make an expert swimmer.
Never when I threw a javelin,
Did it ever far go travellin’,
Neither was I great at running,
But my standing still was stunning!
This poem is copyright (©) Colin West 2024
About the Writer
Colin West
Colin lives in Battle, East Sussex. He studied Graphic Design and Illustration and has written and illustrated over 50 children’s books. His poems have appeared in anthologies by Roger McGough and Julia Donaldson. He now writes purely for his own pleasure and enjoys collecting old books, mainly of poetry.
