Reptilian Fashion
CAUTION: this poem looks at upsetting themes related to animal crueltyWe don’t need to know
about *RETA’s campaign
the reptiles complained
We don’t need to know
if they’re clubbed on their heads
the lizards all said
We don’t need to know
if they’re skinned while alive
the snakes all connived
We don’t need to know
if they’re crushed into tanks
the crocodiles swanked
We do need to dress
mighty fine all the time
the reptiles opined
with haute couture bags
and unscaly chic belts
made from fine human pelts
about *RETA’s campaign
the reptiles complained
We don’t need to know
if they’re clubbed on their heads
the lizards all said
We don’t need to know
if they’re skinned while alive
the snakes all connived
We don’t need to know
if they’re crushed into tanks
the crocodiles swanked
We do need to dress
mighty fine all the time
the reptiles opined
with haute couture bags
and unscaly chic belts
made from fine human pelts
(*RETA – Reptiles for the Ethical Treatment of Anthropoids)
This poem is copyright (©) Mark Bird 2026
About the Writer
Mark Bird
Mark Bird is a children’s author and teacher. He was born in Uttoxeter, Staffordshire and now lives in London. His debut picture book, ‘Halloween Date From Hell’ came out in October 2022 followed by ‘The Klangaroo’ in 2024. Mark has poems published in several anthologies including Ana Sampson’s ‘Heroes and Villains’, Gaby Morgan’s ‘Cosy Poems’, Brian Moses’ ‘The Best Ever Book of Funny Poems’, Kathryn Beevors’ ‘Peak Poetry’, Jonathan Humble’s ‘Sky Surfing’ and in Gill Education’s ‘Over The Moon’ series.
He also has poems featured in two 2025 anthologies from Macmillan:
‘Space - Royal Observatory Greenwich Poetry Book’, and ‘You’re Never Too Much - poems for every emotion’. Many more of Mark’s poems can be found on his website: www.Dreambeastpoems.com.
