The Sorrowful Saga of Sue
Listen to Colin reading a slightly longer version of his poem ... : )
Sue, mad on meteorology,
Would leave, without apology,
A wedding or a christening
In order to go listening
To the TV weather man,
A hunky clad-in-leather man,
Whose name was Ronnie Ransomer.![Pictures by Colin West]()
No man was ever handsomer!
He had a smooth delivery
And Sue went all a-quivery
When Ron turned most dramatical
Recounting things climatical.
Sue bought a big barometer,
(Combining a thermometer),
This fine antique collectable,
She thought was quite delectable,
In style ecclesiastical,
It truly was fantastical!
Now, with this pressure measurer
Sue hoped that Ron would treasure her,
If she could but enrapture him
Then that’s the way she’d capture him!
So Sue wrapped up her weather toy
And sent it to the weather boy.
Such misplaced generosity!![]()
Ron thought it a monstrosity,
The moment he clapped eyes on it
O how he was despisin’ it!
(In truth, this TV weather bloke
Who daily of the weather spoke,
Detested meteorology
And and all its terminology:
Those temperatures, thermometers,
Rain gauges, anemometers,
Hydrology, humidity,
And other such stupidity!)
Ron knew that he must spurn the gift
And so he did return the gift.
The outcome, if you’re curious,
The woman scorned was furious:
“Oh drat that TV weather chap,
And his confounded weather map!”
She soon forsook her weather bent![]()
And ditched that clad-in-leather gent,
Sue now loves the all-knowing beau
Who’s on the TV sewing show,
And drools to see him demonstrate
Just how to stitch a hem on straight!
Would leave, without apology,
A wedding or a christening
In order to go listening
To the TV weather man,
A hunky clad-in-leather man,
Whose name was Ronnie Ransomer.
Pictures by Colin West
No man was ever handsomer!
He had a smooth delivery
And Sue went all a-quivery
When Ron turned most dramatical
Recounting things climatical.
Sue bought a big barometer,
(Combining a thermometer),
This fine antique collectable,
She thought was quite delectable,
In style ecclesiastical,
It truly was fantastical!
Now, with this pressure measurer
Sue hoped that Ron would treasure her,
If she could but enrapture him
Then that’s the way she’d capture him!
So Sue wrapped up her weather toy
And sent it to the weather boy.
Such misplaced generosity!
Ron thought it a monstrosity,
The moment he clapped eyes on it
O how he was despisin’ it!
(In truth, this TV weather bloke
Who daily of the weather spoke,
Detested meteorology
And and all its terminology:
Those temperatures, thermometers,
Rain gauges, anemometers,
Hydrology, humidity,
And other such stupidity!)
Ron knew that he must spurn the gift
And so he did return the gift.
The outcome, if you’re curious,
The woman scorned was furious:
“Oh drat that TV weather chap,
And his confounded weather map!”
She soon forsook her weather bent
And ditched that clad-in-leather gent,
Sue now loves the all-knowing beau
Who’s on the TV sewing show,
And drools to see him demonstrate
Just how to stitch a hem on straight!
This poem is copyright (©) Colin West 2024
About the Writer
Colin West
Colin lives in Battle, East Sussex. He studied Graphic Design and Illustration and has written and illustrated over 50 children’s books. His poems have appeared in anthologies by Roger McGough and Julia Donaldson. He now writes purely for his own pleasure and enjoys collecting old books, mainly of poetry.
