The Steve McQueen of Peas
He’s the Steve McQueen of peas,
He escapes from dinner plates with ease.
His friends call him the Freezer King,
Carrots want to be with him,
Potatoes want to be him.
He’s a maverick.
No fork can contain him,
Nature’s laws cannot yet explain him.
He’s escaped more plates than you’ve had hot dinners,
He comes from a long line of winners
(Of the garden show variety that is).
He’s jumped fences 3 chips high.
He tunnelled through a whole chicken pie.
He’s got nerve, he’s got grit,
But what’s more is this one’s a Brit.
A pea home-grown, from humble beginnings,
His biography short but packed full of winning.
He’s hot yet he’s definitely cool,
The kind of pea for whom you’d break the five-second rule.
Dimpled,
Handsome,
A green-jacketed vision,
While you only think of escaping he’s made his decision.
So next time you swap your fork for a spoon
To stop the peas from scattering across the room,
Spare a thought for your humble pea
Cos he could be tonight’s great escapee!
He escapes from dinner plates with ease.
His friends call him the Freezer King,
Carrots want to be with him,
Potatoes want to be him.
He’s a maverick.
No fork can contain him,
Nature’s laws cannot yet explain him.
He’s escaped more plates than you’ve had hot dinners,
He comes from a long line of winners
(Of the garden show variety that is).
He’s jumped fences 3 chips high.
He tunnelled through a whole chicken pie.
He’s got nerve, he’s got grit,
But what’s more is this one’s a Brit.
A pea home-grown, from humble beginnings,
His biography short but packed full of winning.
He’s hot yet he’s definitely cool,
The kind of pea for whom you’d break the five-second rule.
Dimpled,
Handsome,
A green-jacketed vision,
While you only think of escaping he’s made his decision.
So next time you swap your fork for a spoon
To stop the peas from scattering across the room,
Spare a thought for your humble pea
Cos he could be tonight’s great escapee!
This poem is copyright (©) Robert Dresh 2025
About the Writer
Robert Dresh
Robert is a primary school teacher of many years who began writing to document and explore his love of silliness in daily life. He has made several appearances on BBC radio talking about children's writing where, on a segment on children's joke writing, he made a joke about bums. They have not asked him back since.