Vidal Baboon
Deep inside the jungle green's
the strangest sight you've ever seen,
a funky monkey styling hair
of all the creatures thriving there.
His treetop salon bears his name,
he trims and tames the lion's mane,
he teases flees from chimpanzees
(does special rates for OAPs).
He styles giraffes at quite a height
to get their highlights nice and bright
and has to squint and strain his eyes
when soldier ants want back and sides.
He plaits the hairs of bats and bears
who chat in pairs while sat in chairs,
sipping lattes while they wait
(Friday nights he opens late).
He gets the stinky skunk de-stunk
with water from an elephant's trunk
and then performs a curly perm
upon the burly pachyderm.
He makes the wigs for jungle pigs
with grassy sprigs and sticks and twigs
(with their piggy wigs installed
you'd never guess the pigs were bald).
The cockatoos are most impressed,
he styles their spiky crests the best,
the frosty penguins go there too
(I think they must be lost, don't you?).
The creatures flock from miles around
for monkey crops of high renown,
it's not like all those shops in town,
he chops their mops whilst upside down.
So if your feathers, fur or hair
require some trendy loving care,
call in soon, you'll make 'em swoon
with a hairdo by Vidal Baboon.
the strangest sight you've ever seen,
a funky monkey styling hair
of all the creatures thriving there.
His treetop salon bears his name,
he trims and tames the lion's mane,
he teases flees from chimpanzees
(does special rates for OAPs).
He styles giraffes at quite a height
to get their highlights nice and bright
and has to squint and strain his eyes
when soldier ants want back and sides.
He plaits the hairs of bats and bears
who chat in pairs while sat in chairs,
sipping lattes while they wait
(Friday nights he opens late).
He gets the stinky skunk de-stunk
with water from an elephant's trunk
and then performs a curly perm
upon the burly pachyderm.
He makes the wigs for jungle pigs
with grassy sprigs and sticks and twigs
(with their piggy wigs installed
you'd never guess the pigs were bald).
The cockatoos are most impressed,
he styles their spiky crests the best,
the frosty penguins go there too
(I think they must be lost, don't you?).
The creatures flock from miles around
for monkey crops of high renown,
it's not like all those shops in town,
he chops their mops whilst upside down.
So if your feathers, fur or hair
require some trendy loving care,
call in soon, you'll make 'em swoon
with a hairdo by Vidal Baboon.
This poem is copyright (©) Dale Neal 2024
About the Writer
Dale Neal
Dale has been published online and in print. You will find his work in The Best Ever Book of Funny Poems (Pan Macmillan), My Socks have gone Bonkers (Fantastic Books Publishing), Watcher of the Skies (Emma Press), Guest on the Farm and How to Follow Your Dream (Little Stories: Bedtime Books storytelling app.). He has two children's picture books (My Grandad is an Alien and The Dinosaur and Me) being published in 2022 with Ventorros Press.